Distractions, distractions, distractions

     I'm a procrastinator. Big time. "I'll do it tomorrow!" is akin to a life motto for me. Some stuff I can actually buckle down and get done within a reasonable amount of time, but it usually depends on what the task at hand is.

     My problems started on November 12 when StarCraft 2: Legacy of the Void was released. My preordered copy arrived on the front porch, and from then on, I knew school would come second. $80 for a collector's edition which would consume my time in a non-meaningful way and detract the volition required to participate in higher education.

     I have just finished the game, and hope that nothing else will deter me from completing the more important tasks at hand...




     Omg, I finished the main story and now there's an epilogue???????? YEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

     Well, finishing my essay was a nice thought, but pales in comparison to the attempts of galactic reclamation.

Florence + The Machine

     One of my favorite artists is Florence Welch of the band "Florence + The Machine". Florence has such an amazing and unique voice. Its range seems incomparable, and her vibrato is fantastic! The songs she sings are all so beautiful because of the passion and effort she places in them. Often her songs have to do with love, both good and bad. As you can probably guess, love is a great topic for writing songs.

     "You've Got The Love" is one of my favorites. The song can be interpreted as (though the music video doesn't seem to suggest it) talking about God's unfailing love for us, even when we reach a point when we're ready to just throw in the towel. For me, it's beautiful because it's a constant reminder of how great God truly is; he'll never give up on us, no matter our doubts or transgressions. Another part of the beauty is the amount of passion that Florence puts into this song. It truly feels like she is singing with all her might and that she believes in God with all her heart and soul.

     God is bigger than any of our problems.

     Another of my favorites is "Cosmic Love". Florence conveys a very complicated relationship with a man in a very unique way. She describes the love she has for this man as blinding and is consumed with this feeling, claiming she's lost in darkness, overwhelmed by her love:

"A falling star fell from your heart and landed in my eyes
I screamed aloud, as it tore through them, and now it's left me blind"

"And in the dark, I can hear your heartbeat
I tried to find the sound
But then it stopped, and I was in the darkness,
So darkness I became"

     However, she feels the man doesn't feel the same way and ends up trying to move on from him:

"I took the stars from our eyes, and then I made a map
And knew that somehow I could find my way back"

     In the process of doing so, however, she discovers that he does indeed feel the same way as she does:

"Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you"

     "Cosmic Love" gets its beauty from the unique relay of Florence's emotions. When listening to it, I feel like I'm watching a short movie of two lovers oblivious to their mutual feelings. Florence really just puts beauty in all her work in my opinion.

Essay topic

     In my essay, I'll be focusing on the foreshadowing during Jacob and Esau's birth. It's not secret that the brothers' relationship is turbulent to say in the least. Esau was conned out of his birthright and his father's blessing by his brother Jacob. Jacob did so with the aid of his mother, who favored him more. Obviously Esau was getting the short end of the stick on stuff.

     When Esau was born, Jacob was right behind him holding onto Esau's heel as if trying to pull him back into the womb so as to be born first. So, yeah, foreshadowing is pretty evident, and that's what I'll be digging into.

The Devil's Playground

     Dante's Inferno has been one of the most intriguing pieces of literature I've read. I picked it up sometime in middle school after my brother finished reading it for his class. For this, I got lots of weird looks. After all, I was a young kid reading about hell and punishment... comforting, right?

     Dante's concept of hell is fascinating. Pitting the realm within the earth itself, in my opinion, symbolizes the corruptness of our world along with just how close we are to hell ourselves(figuratively and, from his descriptions, literally). The contrast of the center of our planet is all too ironic as well. Lucifer resides in the core, but not in a lake of fire; he's frozen the lake around him by using his giant wings to try to escape. Every gust of wind he emits causes further pain to the sinners surrounding him.

     I really think that people have a curiosity regarding stuff that they hope to not experience. Kind of like dipping your toes in the water, but not wanting to get your whole foot wet, let alone your body. Every time there's an accident on the road, we feel like we have to look to see what happened. It's just curiosity which leads us to try and experience that rare taste tragedy. Seems like we're gluttons for punishment and despair.

Opposites

     Opposites in the Daodejing offer a unique way of instructing different virtues. These opposites tend to compliment each other and offered an alternative to the teachings of Confucius. It didn't argue against Confucius as much as providing another way of looking at things. The paradoxical approach appealed greatly to the Chinese and is still prevalent today. I obviously don't have much to say on this matter...

Confucius 2016

     Carly Fiorina has principles related to Confucius: life, weapons, trust of the people, determination, etc. Pretty much all of the candidates had something that can be compared to teachings of Confucius. I agree with one of the presenters, however (I think it was Spearman and his Trump presentation), while some of these teachings can be implemented in one's life, they shouldn't be looked at to form a modern government around. Things back then were different, time goes on and things change. It's important to keep the past in mind, but to keep a fresh perspective for the future.

White ghosty things

     I'm a believer of the eternal soul. I think that when we die, our bodies waste away, but there's more for us on the other side. To me, it just doesn't seem practical that we die and that's the end of it. Our world is so meticulous, that I don't think we just popped up by chance. I believe we're created and that our creator has a plan for after we die. Not everything in science can be proved, but scientists still put faith in theories. Why is religion, God, and the concept of an immortal soul so ludicrous?

I'm not gay... I'm a eunuch

     I grew up in a Christian home. We didn't always go to church. Instead, we slept in on Sunday and paid our dues on special occasions. About five years ago or so (I can't remember how long ago for sure), we started attending more religiously (pun intended). Unfortunately for me, however, this was around the time that society put pressure on dating and what not. This is also when I realized I had zero attraction to the opposite sex. Great...

     When I found this out, I honestly didn't know what to think. But society sure knew. And society made sure that I found out quickly. I had to be gay. That was the only explanation, right? No attraction to the opposite sex means you must be attracted to the same sex. Sadly, society was able to make me believe this, and therefore, I accepted that I was a gay Christian. I knew that it didn't really work, but I believed in Christianity. What was I supposed to do? Do I get married? How would I tell my parents? I couldn't explain it any other way except that I was born that way. But God doesn't create gays. I think the dilemma here is pretty clear.

     Thankfully, however, I befriended someone about a week ago who showed me the truth and really changed my life. It turns out I was indeed born this way, and God doesn't create gays. How can both arguments coincide? The answer has been in the Bible all this time, yet the church seems to have simply glazed over it by thinking of it in too modern of a sense.

Matthew 19:10-12 states, "The disciples said to him, 'If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.'" [Regarding divorce and sexual immorality in marriage] "But he said to them, 'Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.'"

     Reading this passage, you may be thinking that I'm castrated. I'm not castrated. I'm in tact. Completely. Thank you. The modern term for eunuch refers to castration, however, that term tends to ignore historical precedent. The term historically was meant not for one who had necessarily been castrated, but primarily as "guardian," or "nurturer," meaning "someone meant to be faithfully unmarried." Eunuchs were never a threat to matrimony, and in fact were often life-long servants to a cause or person. There are many who would be considered biblical eunuchs. Jesus, Paul, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, and John are among that list. The term eunuch was used more often for a dedicated keeper or guardian, not a castrated male.

     God creates people to be eunuchs, to be dedicated servants. Society, however, pushes people in different directions, and the church, for the most part, seems to be ignorant of the meaning of eunuchs, which means they can't exactly guide people properly. This fact makes it so critical that this gets out.

     Some of you will probably think I'm crazy. After all, this is just a brief overview; there's way more detail and information on this! But new truths always sound crazy, right? Speaking of truths...

John 8:31-32 states, "So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, 'If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.'"

     When I heard the truth about eunuchs, I really felt like I had been set free. It all seems so clear now. I don't have to struggle with understanding why I am the way I am; now I know.

I'm not gay... I'm a eunuch.

Books used to help make this post:

The Bible

Born That Way After All

The other side of the fence

     I've never awoken to be the opposite gender, and I don't want to. To do so, however, would be... disturbing. If this anomaly did happen, I honestly wouldn't know what to do.

     What do I do with breasts? They're like water balloons suspended in the air. I'm not sure how delicate they're, so I don't want to run or make any sudden movements for fear that they'll burst or detach. Do they communicate to each other? Are they like little parasitic people I've to lug around until this madness ends? What if they get angry??? Why're there two? Why not one? Why not none!?
     Why do I crave chocolate? Gosh, I really need some. Good thing I already have a Halloween stash... oh wait, I already ate it. Talk about first-world problems.
     Why is there ketchup on my leg? I didn't eat anything in bed! What's going on? Oh no... no no no no....... I've a vagina. And it's flowing like the Nile with red tide. I can't deal with this. No. NO. Ew. Stop. Now. I command thee!!

     Without growing up as a girl, I most certainly wouldn't survive a sudden gender switch.

Mutually tragedy

     One thing that seems consistent with tragedies is that no matter where they happen, people across the world seem to feel the impacts. When the 9/11 attacks occurred, it wasn't just Americans that were crying out, people across the world suffered. Tragedy isn't the same for everyone, however. Katrina, for example, I don't see as tragic as others see it. Yeah, it was horrible, but to me it was just another strong hurricane. Yeah, it did some heavy damage, but when have we not sustained damage from nature? With a city below sea level, I personally believe it was just a matter of time before something like that happened. We all experience tragedy differently, and even though many can experience it from one event, that doesn't mean all will experience it the same way.

Tragedy: Ironically served by oneself

     I've not really experienced a personal tragedy. Don't get me wrong, crappy things have happened and my life isn't perfect, but I've never had some terrible event happen to me that would constitute being called a tragedy. With that in mind, let's focus on someone else's tragedy!

     A cousin of mine was an "A" student and very fortunate with a bright future ahead of her. Her grandfather (I think it was her grandfather at least) left her a large sum of money in his will which she would have access to for just about anything she needed so long as she made the grades. Unfortunately, she made bad decisions, got involved with the wrong people, and ended up losing practically everything. She's to the point that she's having to bum money from other family members to support her, her boyfriend, and her three dogs and five cats. She's had so much time and opportunity to better her life, and yet she squanders every chance. Bottom line, she's lazy and stupid (maybe misguided is a better word... nah, just stupid), and is a perfect example of a self-inflicted tragedy.
    
     Tragedy comes in many different forms. Sometimes life deals you a bad hand and you just gotta learn to roll with the punches instead of taking an easy way out so as to come out stronger in the end. Other times, you're a victim of the consequences of your choices, need to have the guts to admit a mistake, learn from it, and better yourself through your own efforts.

Learning about creation

     It was great to find all these different theories about how creation took place. Even better was getting to see everyone's creative take on creation. The only picky thing I've is not knowing the truth behind any of it, but hey, that's what faith is for.

     One thing that I certainly found fascinating were the similarities between creation stories. Many of theme had to do with Gods and their wrath. They also tended to have mankind fall short of expectations in some way or to have a significant role. On top of that, there seemed to always be some kind of sympathy for mankind or help given to them.

     Creation ex nihilo (out of nothing) is my personal belief for creation. I believe in a higher being. I look at the world and don't really think it could just be a chance happening like the Big Bang. It feels too methodical, too premeditated. But that's just me.

Ancient vs. Modern

     The distinction between ancient and modern heroes is quite interesting. Over thousands of years, the purpose of a hero seems to have changed drastically.

     Ancient heroes seem to almost always have some kind of divine intervention/favoritism. They're also abnormally attractive, strong, (insert human characteristic here). Modern "heroes" simply live daily lives and then next thing you know, people go crazy about what the Kardashians are doing. Modern heroes being role models is kind of disappointing since people always flock to whoever gets the most attention in movies or by the media.

     Something that pulls these different time period together though is that heroes likely always had an impression on people in society. They see the great things that were accomplished and people decide they want to be like that. Good things and bad things come of this, most bad things are probably exemplified in our modern society when people look to celebrities for what they should think/do.

Blank Space

I searched the web for "erotic" and "eroticism" and the results weren't exactly... as relevant as what I was hoping. I guess I'll just wing this.

People these days seem to link eroticism with love. I disagree. Yes, eroticism is part of, but it's not the entirety of it. Just because something gets your motor going doesn't mean you're in love with it. There's more to people and relationships than just bow-chicka-bow-bow. The focus on eroticism and trying to find something that gets you going is too much in my opinion. People are entitled to their standards, don't get me wrong, and I, like anybody, want to find someone attractive, but I don't want to just find someone attractive and run away with them. There's plenty more than needs to happen. I guess you could say sparks aren't enough, I need wildfires, haha!

tldr: Looks aren't everything, and basing a relationship purely on looks is likely to create problems.

Creation project

The creation project I looked at was pretty darn interesting and added a very creative twist to creation in general. Creation wasn't something done by a god, but by man. And it's not a conventional pull resources from the planet story. Creation was done through dreaming.

A man fell from a start after Earth's creation. Upon realizing he was alone, he began dreaming of different creatures and awoke each morning to find they had come into existence. The man eventually dreamt of a female companion, however, she was nowhere nearby when he awoke. It isn't until later in the story that they find each other, by which time the woman has dreamt of children to keep her company. I think it's great that they included the inherent need for humans to have companionship, either with other humans or animals.

Upon the death of a child due to hunger, the family causes natural disasters through mourning. Tears caused tsunamis, monsoons, and hurricanes, for example. The child's death ended up bringing about vegetation. Something that I really admire is the use of death as a new passage to life. The loss of the child brought about the growth of vegetation to help serve as food for his family.

This is a very interesting story and I'm excited to see how it turns out after it's been fully developed!

That one special person

     It's interesting how times change. Nerdy used to be looked down upon, but now it's a popular thing. New words get added to the dictionary that you never would've imagined would make it. New things are done that were once thought impossible.

     Words, and our language in general, is just another thing victimized by the ravages of time. "Hero" is no exception.

     When we think of a hero, we tend to think of a role model, someone to look up to who sets a standard. It wasn't always that way though. In ancient stories, a hero was often a divine, god-power imbued super-human. We still have these kinds of heroes today. Superman, for instance, seems to be capable of just about anything.

     While the old meaning of hero hasn't faded completely, it's interesting to see new meaning brought to the word over hundreds of years. Strangely enough, however, the meaning never really was that different. The super-powered heroes of old were likely revered (Odysseus killed some heavy-duty monsters). Heroes nowadays are revered as well; they're respected and looked up to for direction.

     I don't have any heroes in particular. I don't tend to see meaning in revering one person above the rest. But I suppose that in darker times, having that role model to turn to could help. Something that is all too evident to me, however, is that the over-dependence and poor choice of role models is rampant in today's society.

From inside the church: Creationism & Eroticism

     Yes... I'm writing this from the inside of a church... I feel the lightning ready to strike... seriously though... this feels really awkward...

     Anyways, I think it's quite fascinating how so many people have so many different perspectives on what exactly is "erotic." Ironically, something which many would consider naturally entwined with creation actually isn't that related to it at all.

     With eroticism being stuff that pretty much arouses you, that opens the scope... a lot. For those who might find spoons erotic, spoons don't exactly create anything when used for sexual arousal (except for maybe an infection of sorts). While eroticism isn't necessarily directly linked to creationism, however, the former can lead to the latter. Someone who may find a man doing the dishes erotic, for example, may end up engaging sexually with that man and end up having children.

     Strangely, I feel like I've a new perspective on eroticism. It's not all about "chains and whips excite me" as is probably stereotypical. It's just what turns you on. That could be chains and whips, or possibly just seeing someone sitting playing video games. That which is erotic is different for everyone and I think that fact is great because it makes all of us unique!

In the Beginning...

     My creation story is pretty scattered in terms of location thanks to my parents. I'm really grateful that I've military parents. They've provided me the opportunity to move and experience different parts of the world, go to places I wouldn't have had the opportunity to go had they not chosen the military life.

     I was born in Germany. Ramstein AFB, I believe. Unfortunately, we left a couple of years after, and since I was just a baby, I don't really remember much... okay, maybe I don't remember a whole lot of the world, but I do remember more as time goes on... Leaving Germany, we went to Louisiana. Here I can vaguely remember running down the street to play with my friends. I remember Kindergarten and the fact that my teacher lived a road or two away. Thanks to Facebook, I was able to reconnect with some of my old friends. It's funny how when you're a child you don't realize the whole age thing. You see another kid and think "Let's play!" regardless of age.

    When we left Louisiana, we moved to Alaska... It. Was. Amazing! Sure, it was cold. -70°F at times in fact. But waking up to find wildlife right outside base housing was pretty awesome! We literally had a moose at our front door... no, we didn't pet it. Another great thing was the Northern Lights (Aurora Borealis). I miss those so much! It was great looking up into the sky to see colors dancing around. The mountain vistas, the culture and history of the area... ugh, I wanna go back!

     Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. The same held true for Alaska. In tears as I left my friends behind (Facebook helped me find them later!), we began our journey through the Yukon and the U.S. with our eyes set on... Georgia... great... ish. The trip was long, and for some ungodly reason, we drove the entire way. However, it was still nice. We visited Mt. Rushmore, Devil's Tower, Yellowstone, and other places. Once we finally hit Georgia, our lives began... in a house with no furniture. Awesome.

     For the past 12 years or so we've been in Georgia. It's been way better than I thought it would be, and frankly, I'm glad we made the move. I'd still like to go back to Alaska one day though, and I intend to.

Seven days of creation on the back of a turtle

     Stories about creation are some of my favorites, next to Greek mythology of course… and The Inferno. This is mainly because they're so weird. Every culture has something different, and I'll swear up and down some of them just pulled stuff outta their butt. What's interesting is that no matter how strange they are, there's likely someone who believes in them. With that in mind, are we really that different from a person who thinks the world rests on the back of an ancient turtle?

     Let's use Christianity as an example. When you look at the Christian creation story (and I mean really look at it), it doesn't sound much more realistic than the others, yet people still put stock into the tale. Seven days of creation with separate days designated for separate things. Couldn't the Alpha and Omega of the universe just have snapped His fingers and BOOM! new world? Why is the story so meticulous? That's just scratching the surface.

     I'm a Christian, but I'm not gonna lie, it was hard for me to see it as strange at first since I'd grown up with the story. However, I now understand just how strange it really is (I still believe it though). Maybe from someone else's view I'm the guy believing the world rests on the back of an ancient turtle.